Even Space Won’t Save this Fail

spaceship

This space ship is in excellent condition! Only 300 million Intergalactic miles, 4 passenger, no meteor dents, possibly needs reactor seals and recharged flux capacitor, 1 owner. Still have the original owners manual. Does have a wobble issue at Mach 12 but clears once it hits 15 not sure what that is but I lose the GPS screen for about a minute or so. Complete with bubble glass windows! Never crashed! For sale $3500 OBO. Clear title in hand, cash sale only, no trades and I won’t take payments. Once it leaves the earth, I know you are not coming back so why would I??? DUH! It needs some TLC like an alignment and new landing sensors. Stored in a secure warehouse in Phx. Must sell City of Phx pressuring me, they say it’s an eye sore?? It’s on my front lawn and it’s burnt the grass last year when it was running, I have the re entry burners turned up to kill the termites and scorpions when landing.

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At Least the Seat is Brand New

m3

1998 BMW M3
Should buff out however if you aren’t the buffing type, probably best to bring a flatbed for pickup. Please call ahead to set up a time to come look at the car. Thanks.

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Xmas Slippers

christmas slippers

These slippers are:
* Soft and Hygienic
* Non-slip grip strips on the soles
* Built in deodorant feature keeps feet smelling fresh
* No more bending over to mop up spills
* Disposable and biodegradable
* Environmentally safe
* Three convenient sizes: (1.) Regular, (2.) Light and (3.) Get out the Sand Bags.

I’ve attached a photo of the first pair I made so that you can see the nifty slippers for yourself….

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Get Well Ballon

get well baloon

Get well balloon, its slowly dying but good for someone you only slightly care about

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Mounted Lobster

mounted lobster

mounted lobster2

This is an amazing mounted lobster (18″!!!) on a wonderful marbled paper frame. Impress your friends! Delight your children! Scare your pets! I’m selling at a loss, but it’s all your gain! Haven’t you always wanted a lobster mounted on your wall? Now’s your chance!

Seriously, get this thing out of my house!!

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